This is the darkest night of the moon-cycle. I can feel it, too. Makes me wish for bright lights and ... well... a small city. People around me, except for family, have gotten quiet. Family understands, cause they're right there with me -- wishing for a week ago tonight and not wanting to stay and dwell in that territory any longer. Not wanting to think of the possibilities still open one week ago tonight.
What else is going on? I just looked up from a week's worth of grieving. I need to get my bearing and move forwards.
It seems a bit odd to take a breath and say, "alright then, where was I?"
On the night of the Disting -- February 2, I read the cards in a life spread. Do you know there was, in that reading, under the category of Friend, the Ace of Spades? That is the same as the death card in Tarot.
But I don't generally take that card literally. It could have simply meant another person like Patti decided to play it safe and not befriend someone who wasn't Christian. How was I to know? Even though a black bird sang to me from the branch of the walnut tree? How was I to know.
And how do I think forward now?
I think I do it by backing up and remembering where I was going before the train wreck. I seem to recall I had studies lined up and I had spinning to do and weaving to do and work for the community.
Tomorrow I'll be reading cards for folks at the Chinese new year's celebration. That's a step. It's something solid. And there's a new loom here to thread and try. Mark made this one, made it for my recycled silk -- a loom for scarves.
So, yeah....
I need to step forward from this darkest of nights and see what the new moon is opening. It's not that I'm going to forget Joy or get over missing her anytime soon.
But depression is a hungry thing and if you hold back very long among the dark shadows where it lives, you may end up being lunch.
So, hail to Snotra, lady of Aquarius moon. I'll set my intent in that moment the moon comes new and move forward with the rising moon.
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