bye bye black birds

I don't even like the word, lethargic, so... I certainly don't intend to give in to it.

so, let's just say for most of the day I was a bit less than enthusiastic. About anything. Blame it on the moon. Or better yet, the 3-month snow.

The morning started before dawn with an hour long bitch-fest by a conference of blackbirds in the trees across the road. Our neighbor who lives there does crazy things quite often and he was out most of yesterday, sitting on his porch in the snow with his bare feet and his sleeveless arms. He was back there again this morning as the wind froze the crests of snow on the rooftops.

Sighing, I wondered again what ever possessed us to move to this town, and wondered if the time would come around anytime soon for moving on.

I lit a candle by habit or it might not have gotten lit at all. And I watered the plants and then filled the little glass cauldron on the altar. I think of this as the well of wisdom and I symbolically lifted a double handful of this wisdom and poured it over my head and then went to my little round table where I do my morning readings.

The card reading, my two-card "cup of tea" had Priestess as the "saucer" bringing King of Earth as the tea cup. so,I jotted down that I'd be getting correspondence of some sort and it might be something I'd want to learn or about learning or from someone knowledgeable or about Teaching or Teachers. Or it could have been a bill for old school debts, except the cards were not reversed. High Priestess is about higher learning. King of Earth, when it's not a person, is a document.

I got my certificate for rootworking in the mail, so that answered that.

That should have been enough to lift the "I WANT SPRING TO GET HERE NOW!" bit of moodiness.

I know how to work these times, though. I just didn't want to. See, that's how they are. These times, you know you can light a candle, play the drum, get some exercise, go for a walk, clean the house, dance... but what you want to do is curl up with a book that you will totally ignore out of lack of interest.

I did not want to spin. or knit. or weave. I did not want to bake or sew or anything. Well, I would have planted something if that were possible, but other than that or a trip to a sunny state, I didn't want to do anything.

And I figured that since I wasn't interested in anything at all, I might as well do that thing in which I was least interested.

Nope. Not housekeeping. I'll do that sometimes to keep from doing the things I like best. Earning my way to the spinning wheel or the loom. I actually love to clean house or rearrange everything -- which is my version of that.

But today, I went for the thing I REALLY don't want to do. I pulled out the half-forgotten, but never really out of my mind workbook I started -- oh, was it three years ago?

I abandoned the thing, November before last and have not had the gumption to get back on track.

But today, with enough energy to almost lift my feet when i walk, I pulled out the file (after I moved a couple years worth of accumulated fun stuff from on top of it) and laid it out on the table.

Well. It was apparent that I pulled this out in just the right mood. I am in a mood right now to get rid of things. And more so when the "grumpy whatsits" are passing through.

I immediately threw out half the wandering manuscript. It had gotten unwieldy and chatty and too familiar and it rambled so... like my blog here. It had everything in it and no form, no way to grasp the thing and make something of it.

As quick as that, I saw that it divided into 3 parts easily, with a resource at the back for all the charts and exercises.

As I divided it up, I saw the "glue" needed to bring the sections together, the very thing that would make it a practical workbook.

I'd like to say the clouds split and the sun shined but that didn't happen.

And just to form the day into a cohesive black hole that ended with a round, those blackbirds came back to raucaus in the trees across the road and the crazy man came out in his shirtsleeves to sit on his snow-coverd porch as the sun went down.