rooted

Christianity was part of the process. I took the only game going, the only thing that I'd ever known was there. Being spiritually-inclined, I pretty much made the most of what I had. As a small child, I adored church -- I loved the sanctuary and the way people all joined their voices together and the fact that stories were told, even if some of them were scary.

When I was five, we moved into a new house and those stories were so entrenched into my thinking that when I turned on the faucet and rusty water came out, I just sighed. "Mom! The world's ending." I wasn't upset -- why would I be? I was simply puzzled when the grown-ups laughed.

Later, of course, I thought about that. How did they know so quickly that it was rusty pipes, not water turning into blood?  I guess you could say my questions started right about then, when I was five years old. Nevermind though, I loved the hymns enough to keep going to church. "I come to the garden alone...when the dew is still on the roses..." Lovely.

Coming up through my teen years, I started looking for my own religion -- but since I didn't know that what I am even existed,  that simply meant a change in denomination. I joined up with the Jesus people and stood on street corners handing out "underground" newspapers that said, "Jesus digs the hell out of you." I went to Pleasant Valley Evangelical Church and was baptised by Phil Keaggy, (kind of a hippy guitar guru).

All the time, I was not quite fitting in. I got funny looks from the other believers. I was not of the same cloth and they knew it.
Still.

It was the only game going, and i went with it as far as I could. But there were things that didn't set right with me.  Eve was not equal to Adam. It was a big deal to me that Adam was formed of good earth, but Eve was made from a second-hand bone. Another thing that bothered me was that Gentiles were not equal to Jews. Gentiles were "grafted in". To be a Christian, you had to be grafted into the tree -- you became a spiritual Jew ("He is a Jew who is one inwardly says the Bible). Didn't I have roots? Why did the people I came from have to become honorary something else? If God was so wise, why did he create people one way and demand they change into something else in order to be pleasing to him? When I want peas, I plant peas. Shouldn't God be at least smart enough to create what he wanted int he first place?

Ah well, I can't really claim I went searching for the truth and came to where I am. I just wandered along and in and out and through the words of the Good Book and eventually, when the student was ready, the Teacher came and led me to the place I'd already been -- fully rooted, one of the tribe of my own kinsmen. I'm not a second-rate anything and I don't have to try to be something I'm not. I don't have to measure up or change one thing about me that I don't want to change.

Instead of a foster child to the Desert God of Bible fame, I'm a child of the Universe. There is nothing that is separate and nothing that is at enmity with the Universe. I guess, what you could say is, the grafting didn't take. This tree already had roots.
When I was about nine, I was walking home from school one day and I felt so greatful to Someone, I spun around and around and a song came, dedicated to Mother Earth. I've always felt rather witchy and earth-loving and wild. I've always just been what I am.