my word of the year

My word for this year is 'responsibility'. Sounds like a dry kind of word and brings to mind visions of things accomplished and everything put to order. That may happen. But that's not the kind of responsibility I'm talking about. Mine's simpler.

It's my responsibility to take care of my health and to go on when I'd rather not, and to listen when one of mine has something to say. I don't have to solve problems -- I just need to be there.

One of our daughters, when she was a kid, would run into a difficult word and she'd say 'skip it'. Sometimes, that's what I do. Something is too difficult. So, I do other things.

This year just gone, I learned a song or two on harmonica, learned to yodel "with Bonnie" (on You tube), took up spinning poi, and focused on the very beginnings of Tai chi. But the things I was avoiding were not so huge at the beginning of the year. I could keep infinately busy with 'skip it'.

Then things came that were too huge to focus on anything. For awhile, I stopped everything. Not just these weird new pastimes, but the things that were real and solid for me. I didn't want to know what the stars were saying, didn't want to step into circle, didn't want to write or play music or be present. Once, I thought it was my responsibility to know why and to figure things out.

Now I find my responsibility doesn't have anything to do with knowing why or solving anything. I only have to show up. I have to listen. I have to keep from sinking. That's my responsibility. This year, If I pursue odd pastimes, it will be as a focus for being present.


http://www.writingourwayhome.com/2012/01/what-word-will-you-choose-for-2012.html