We've got tribe. But still... It gets difficult sometimes, finding just where you fit or if you do. Most of our friends are still new enough to puzzle themselves over if we're worth it. Some days I get a bit of a kick out of assuring them I'm not. The thing is, I'm not up to trying to please anyone anymore. I'm damn near sixty and what I am is what I am and what I am, or what...
It's not that I don't care. I like having folks come by for potluck. I like getting asked to visit a friend's new house. I like playing drums together and exchanging recipes and trading herbs and garden foods. I like hearing the new thing a friend is doing.
But when the eyes squint and the heads tilt and frownlines begin, I feel like walking alone along hillpaths and river trails, listening only to sound of the wilds.
Some days, you just have to get yourself back.
We ought to take lessons from man's best friends -- see, those pups touching noses -- that's getting acquainted. At this point they're accepting whoever the other is. Tails wag, they've put their true selves forward.
But then comes the butt-sniffing stage and they want to know where each other's been. A lot of judging comes in. That's fine. But there comes a time to get past the judging and to the running together over old trails and new ones. You watch a couple of old dogs who know each other well -- big doggie laughs when they see each other, no tilting the head, no figuring out -- they're even past acceptance now -- they're simply being who they are together. Can't people get there?
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